Went to Bondi yesterday with some of my friends, the weather was fairly warm and I have the ever so slightest tan going on, you can see strap lines on my shoulders. The water was freezing cold and there were hardly any waves. I don’t think I’ve ever seen the beach so busy before.
As a comparison of my days, today is cold. It’s dark, it’s cloudy, it’s boring and I’m not spending it with anyone who means anything to me. I haven’t been this bored in a very long time, and since I seem to have lost all talent that use to reside in my right hemisphere, I can not draw nor can I write to past the time. I don’t have the patience to read, not lately. I’m unimpressed and uninspired, and I feel fairly miserable today.  Tomorrow will be much of the same.

I’m thinking of either going into prostitution or drug dealing because for some reason, normal ass forms of employment don’t want me. I think when McDonald’s rejects you, there’s really no where to go from there. Not that the idea of being around meat and oil is all that impressive to me in the first place. I have yet to buy my ticket to Amity, I have $2 and I’m fairly sure I have another $48 to save before I can get it.

There have been a few things bothering me lately. My future, my appearance, my sudden lack of any real skill or interest in anything. Everyone knows what they want to do. Everyone knows what they’re good at, and everyone’s trying to get somewhere. I’m simply existing. Barely. I have to start my major work for Art next term, I have no ideas. Not one. The creative nerves that once stemmed from my brain are dead.
I might spend the rest of today lying around watching tv, and further exhausting my laziness.

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Read the description of this song… It’s beautiful isn’t it? I won’t lie. I cried a little bit when I first read it. I love Pierce The Veil.
Going to see them in April with Escape The Fate, hopefully.

So, how have you been? I’ve been pretty capped, and therefore unable to blog much. I thought I’d blog tonight as I’m going to Melbourne tomorrow for 2 weeks. No internet, no phone.
I’m going for a wedding. I hate weddings. More than life.
The thought of being with someone forever is sweet. It sounds perfect. But I would never legally bind someone to me. I’d feel like I’m trapping them.

So, I’m in year 11 this year. Besides the change in uniform, it feels the exact same.

This guy in year 9, who has a moustache, told me to act my age today. I wanted to reply with, ‘I’m 16. I am acting my age. What about you? You have a fully grown stache and you’re 14, you act your age.’  But of coarse, I didn’t say that. He was seemingly nice and pretty cute.

I’ve found myself growing closer to different people. One person in particular. People who used to be close friends with me, are no longer taking vacancy in my heart or in my life. I’m okay with that. At the moment…

Well, I do have a shit load of other things to blog about and I’ve thought of so much things that I’d like to share with you, but I’m afraid, I have to go pack.
Be here when I get back. (:

And this is my reaction to everything I fear. Cause I’ve been going crazy, I don’t want to waste another minute here.

Mother has decided to have guests over. Joy.
So, I woke up this afternoon and had a potato because I was starving and that’s pretty much the only thing in the house that didn’t make me wanna throw up.
Didn’t sleep very well, but my day was pretty good yesterday.

I saw someone who means a lot to me. Which was pretty cool, I don’t get to see her much.
There was five drunk females in my house, including me.
I made a cake, it actually tastes horrible.
Apart from the fact that we made it while drunk, we didn’t follow a recipe.
Just, chucked things in. Though, it smelt great.

I have to go to Carramar tomorrow, not looking forward to that.
I don’t mind the whole, ‘seeing a health/youth counsellor’ part. She’s a lovely person.
I just don’t like the whole, ‘catch a train by yourself,’ part. I get lost while walking home sometimes… and I do it everyday.

Anyway, Shannon’s gonna go be bored elsewhere. I do think I’ve saved a draft somewhere,
might post it later today.
Have a good one.

I’ve got a Casino Electric. It looks like a blue Stratrocaster. I really hate the shape, I can’t stand it.
I really wanna white Gibson ES. They’re amazing.  Maybe, one day. I need a job.

So, I spent today walking down to Green Valley. I’ve had Red bull, V, coffee and some ice cubes.
Bought some Conditioner.

On my way home, I left my two cans near my other V can. If you’re from around here, they’re sitting near Aubrey Keech Reserve, leaning on a fence. Since I got home, I’ve been listening to The Libertines, The Kooks, Green Day, and Killing Joke, while looking at guitars and trying to find the sexiest one. I’m starting to feel  a little sick and I’ve got a headache, I think it’s because I’m wearing a jumper in this heat, but I can’t be bothered taking it off.
My family are putting up the Christmas tree up today.  Or rather, they’re washing it, then putting it up. I don’t like participating in the whole, ‘decorating the house for Christmas’ thing. Simply because, it depress’ me. Knowing that I’m spending, yet another Christmas in this place terrifies me.

I hate drinking water, because not only does it taste like nothing, it somehow manages to still be gross. But, my mother had a go at me for not drinking enough, so I got myself into a bet and now I have to drink 2 litre’s of this liquid air a day. I’m going to be pissing like crazy.

What are you doing today? I feel slightly at peace.  I don’t know why, but it seems like something about today has just relaxed me. I mean, I feel active and I want to run around in circles and such, but at the same time, I feel like I’ve just had an amazing sleep. I wonder how long this will last for?

How do you feel? Also, what are some of your favourite musicians? I wanna know what you guys are in to.

I really love this photo.

I just realized that I never really told you what I thought of The Virgin Suicides. I loved it.
I left me feeling just a little bit disturbed/violated, but I thought it was brilliant. Now, my teachers at school are taking my laptop for the holidays, so I won’t be able to watch very many movies any more. I’ll have to make do with what I have, which is a major disappointment, because I’ve seen all of them a hundred times.  I was thinking of watching Girl, Interrupted tonight. I’m not too sure though, have you seen it? What’d you think?

Any movie recommendations? What’s your favourite?
I spent the day in a nursing home today. It made me realize how badly I do not want to age.
The 27 Club for the win. Those people have no one. They do the same thing every single day, yet they still have enough satisfaction in their lives to keep on living. I don’t know how they do it.
How are they still breathing and smiling at that age and in that loneliness, when I’m surrounded, and I think about giving up every 5 seconds?
They look so fragile, but they’re so strong.

I’ve got three days of school left. Can’t wait till it’s over. I’m not going to miss that place, or those people. They’re horrid. School’s so pointless. I haven’t learnt anything of value as of yet.
Anyway, I’m going to finish watching Rent. Love that movie.

Fun Tips: If you press Ctrl + T in Itunes, the visualizer comes up.
Pressing Q, W, A, S, Z, or X will change the visual. Yes, I did just realize this.
I’m slow. (:

If it wasn’t completely obvious, the photos I post aren’t mine unless stated otherwise. This one was from Paul Griffiths website.

#nowplaying Slow Dancing In A Burning Room- John Mayer

My door is slowly closing by itself. Wind or ghost?
So I had a terrible, terrible day yesterday. And today’s probably gonna be just as terrible. However, this is more of a painful terrible. I feel so fucking lonely and it hurts knowing I’m probably gonna feel like this forever. I just want to stop feeling so alone all the time.  It’s really the worse. Especially since everyone else around me is seemingly happy, or they’re complaining about stupid things.
I have to go back to school tomorrow. Not looking forward to it at all. Really don’t want to. I might go and see how many people there are. If there isn’t much, I’m just gonna stop going all together. It’s not like anyone even notices I’m not there.

I should probably be spending more time on my other blog today.

Anyway, I included that picture because I think it’s so beautiful. I really wish I lived in England. I would give anything to be there right now.
Where do you wish you were?

Have you seen The Virgin Suicides? I might watch it later. It seems intriguing enough to amuse me on a Sunday night. So I just came back from Liverpool, it’s really a disgusting place full of disgusting people, but I had a pretty good day. I’m feeling kinda happy, which is kinda really weird for me. I’ve actually been smiling all day, and I haven’t yet stopped smiling.
My jaw’s actually kinda sore, cause I’m not really used to it and I think it’s kinda saying, ‘What the fuck Shannon? Calm the fuck down. Why you be so smiley for?’

I’m actually really sore. I’ve got a massive headache and my legs hurt and I’m tired, but I know I won’t be able to sleep. I’ve got to go to my great grandmother’s funeral tomorrow, and I’m probably gonna be disrespectfully yawning my ass off throughout the entire thing.
Also, I haven’t gone to school for a while and I might get in trouble because I don’t plan on going for the next few days. Maybe just, one or two days. Just to get some of my shit. But other than that, I really don’t feel the need to spend my time with those assholes.

I’ve promised someone that I’m not going to do anything stupid until she comes back from wherever it is that she went,  and unfortunately, I keep my promises.
So I hope you enjoy reading my daily rambles, because I’m gonna be here to ramble for another 4 weeks at least.

Hope you all sleep well, I’m just gonna go smile my ass off some more. (:
I’ll tell you how the movie is tomorrow, ❤

Post- script: I’ve finished all the energy drinks and the coffee in this house, therefore I’ll be drinking Pepsi Max, water and milk till I go drink shopping. Oh, and my mother hid the vodka from me and accused me of being an alcoholic.
Great talks, really. I love this house. Just, wanna fucking live here forever.
loljk, I’d rather die.

I’m not even kidding.
Anyways, I leave you with a poem. (: Comments are loved.

I know it’s always shit, and I know it always sucks,
And you feel like you’ve been hit, by a mother fucking truck.
When you’re lonely, scared, sick of the world and all of this,
Trust me, I swear, there’s such a thing as happiness.