Here’s a delightful little picture of my cousin’s belongings~

With these things there’s no telling, we just have to wait and see.
But I’d rather be working for a paycheck, than waiting to win the lottery.

Hello, hello, hello.
Before I go any further into how I’ve been and what’s been happening with me, I’m billing over my sincerest apologies for yet again, not updating at a consistent pace.
I’m overall at a very happy place right now. My home situation isn’t that enjoyable but I’ve come to recognize that it won’t be my home situation forever.
I’m in year 12 now, I’m hoping to somehow muster enough money to get into Shillington College, I’m not really good at much else. If all else fails, I plan on cutting hair for a living.
I can’t wait until these next 3 terms are over, oh the burden that will be lifted of my chest, I can’t wait for that relief.

I can’t wait till it’s over and I can laugh to all those people that said, ‘Enjoy it while you can, when you work, you’ll wish you were at school.’ I will never miss school, all of my schooling life was and will be hell. And even if I don’t enjoy my job, I’ll get paid for it. Compromise~

I’m not that stressed or worried about anything right now. Conor Oberst’s voice has been repeating for the past two hours and something about it, and knowing I’m safe and comfortable for once, makes me feel at ease.
Have you ever felt so happy that you just wanted to cry? I’ve been feeling that lately. I feel like sobbing because I can’t believe it. If you’ve ever been sad, if you’ve ever known sadness or pain, or depression or loss, or hurt… If you’ve ever known any of it, you’ll understand what I’m talking about when I refer to that heavy feeling on your chest, as though there’s an elephant sitting on your lungs.

If you’ve ever recovered, or been on your way to it, you’ll understand how it must feel when that elephant finally decides to get up.
If you have ever recovered, congratulations. Enjoy your happy tears, you deserve them. You made it. And if you haven’t recovered yet, don’t stress. Just keep breathing. That elephant will get tired of sitting soon, have faith.

 

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Went to Bondi yesterday with some of my friends, the weather was fairly warm and I have the ever so slightest tan going on, you can see strap lines on my shoulders. The water was freezing cold and there were hardly any waves. I don’t think I’ve ever seen the beach so busy before.
As a comparison of my days, today is cold. It’s dark, it’s cloudy, it’s boring and I’m not spending it with anyone who means anything to me. I haven’t been this bored in a very long time, and since I seem to have lost all talent that use to reside in my right hemisphere, I can not draw nor can I write to past the time. I don’t have the patience to read, not lately. I’m unimpressed and uninspired, and I feel fairly miserable today.  Tomorrow will be much of the same.

I’m thinking of either going into prostitution or drug dealing because for some reason, normal ass forms of employment don’t want me. I think when McDonald’s rejects you, there’s really no where to go from there. Not that the idea of being around meat and oil is all that impressive to me in the first place. I have yet to buy my ticket to Amity, I have $2 and I’m fairly sure I have another $48 to save before I can get it.

There have been a few things bothering me lately. My future, my appearance, my sudden lack of any real skill or interest in anything. Everyone knows what they want to do. Everyone knows what they’re good at, and everyone’s trying to get somewhere. I’m simply existing. Barely. I have to start my major work for Art next term, I have no ideas. Not one. The creative nerves that once stemmed from my brain are dead.
I might spend the rest of today lying around watching tv, and further exhausting my laziness.

Happy New Years.

December 31, 2010



It’s 11:00PM on New Years Eve.
Thought I’d do this now, because I won’t get a chance to later.

I want to wish all of you a Happy New Year, and I hope that you’re all safe and that you don’t end up impregnating anyone tonight.  Hope 2011 is good to you, and I also hope that you all find happiness and love and comfort in something/someone.

I don’t know where all of us will be a year from now, when we’re complaining about how fast 2011 went, but I hope we’ve all changed for the better.
I hope we’re all happy and safe and in love.
I hope we’re all alive.

So much has happened this year.
So much death, loss, tears, laughs, hugs, smiles, etc.

I just hope, there’s less of the bad and more of the good.
Happy New Year everyone.
I love each and every one of you, and I thank you for the support you’ve given me in leaving comments or asking questions on my formspring. You’re all great and you deserve so much.

Have a good one.